Maybe I should have titled this one "Better Luck Next Year". I did that in December because I thought things would get better in January. Looks like I wrong. It's getting pretty hard to keep the hopes up. The confusion level is through the roof. I'm running out of ideas. I'm starting to fear that there really are problems with no solution to them. The relay in Oberhof isn't enough. I didn't pour my full time effort for 10+ years for one decent result!
I reworked my mental approach. I wasn't going to be a headcase today. The talent is all there. As usual the zero was perfect and a good confirmation of what I knew I could do. The conditions were perfect and this course suits my style. There wasn't much in the way of disadvantages.
Low and behold I failed. I'm not even close to making the pursuit. I took my time and tried my best at prone. The slow range time was unjustified with three misses. I despised every last one of those trips around the penalty loop.
I really pushed for some smart skiing. I was convinced that the ski speed was going to be where I trained it to be! Standing was decent. I had my head on straight and it almost showed, with only one miss in a 33 second range time. I put everything behind me and went for a hard last loop no matter what the results. After all Antholz is an extremely difficult range to deal with. I couldn't possible be the only one with poor shooting, right?
I felt decent on skis and did everything right... I skied slow. 69th fastest! This is the top source of confusion right now. Why?! Why is it not there? When it was all said and done, I was not in a good mode. I so sorely want good results! That's what I after more than anything else right now. Shouldn't I be able to look back and say "well I guess hard work and dedication do pay off"? So far no, I can not say that. Two six places isn't enough for my career. I refuse to go out with only a couple of decent days.
While ski speed really cut to the core of me I can say that shooting was not as bad as it looked. After checking in with the coach I learned that the prone misses were all on the edge. The hits were center. If only...
Since I'm here and the skiing is perfect there isn't much I can complain about. Hopefully I will be in the relay and can expose today as a fluke. I'm not quitting and I hate grey areas so the only other option is give it full gas. I didn't pay for the flight over or my room and dinner, so who am I to give anything less than 100%. And yes this is in fact yet another post race rant. These articles are becoming a dime a dozen.